Game day

New pictures

I gave it up

I gave up MY plan yesterday and life is so much better. It's not that I have anything in the least against formula feeding - apart from the price. It was just the fact that I had done months worth of research and decided that this was the way to go for us. Everyone says the first few weeks is hard - so I was anticipating that. What I didn't anticipate was that Matthew's struggle to feed - every time, him not sleeping well between feedings and my inability to sleep at all was taking it's toll on all of us. Because I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't making enough milk to stisfy him.
After our doctor visit yesterday - which she said he looked healthy - but sounded like we did need to supplement and come back next week for another weigh in - Mark and I decided to just go the formula route, I would continue to pump as much as I could to keep up production and give him as much as we could. Amazingly enough, after we made that decision, I felt the weight and stress just fall off!
Mom and Dad spent the night at our apt so Mom could get up with Matthew and feed him while I would try to pump. After the 11:30 feeding - Mark said - no more for me that night - I needed to stay in bed and sleep.
Thankfully, I finally fell asleep!!!!! I probably got 5 or 6 hours - that's about as much as I had had in the past three days!
Matthew is a different baby now that he can get a full tummy. This mommy has a better outlook on life and Daddy can get enough sleep now, too instead of trying to keep Matthew quiet so that I could try to sleep.
God has been very gracious to us!!!

Overwhelmed

That pretty much sums us up right now.
I have to believe that life will get better. Breast feeding is HARD with a newborn that goes ballistic when he doesn't "get it" after one or two sucks.
Matthew has his first doctors appt tomorrow. I'm anxious to see how much he weighs, since we are doing the breastfeeding thing.

We're so thankful for my parents who came down yesterday. They have been a great help!!

I'm also thankful for Cheryl - my new favorite person down here! She's is a lactation consultant that we called twice yesterday(on Christmas) when I was at my wits end with feeding. She came over and was a tremendous encouragement! I would say that this is probably the hardest thing I've ever done - I want to persevere and I want to give up.

I'm thankful to not be pregnant. Even though I'm still recovering from the C-section - and that's still sore, I feel so much better.

I'm thankful for my wonderful husband. If nothing else, this experience is making me love him more than ever!

Matthew Terry

Matthew Terry came on Friday, December 21st at 9:31am via C-section. He weighed 8#12oz. 20 3/4 inches!! I had called my dr. Thursday wondering if I was coming down with a sinus infection, he asked me if I could check my BP and call him back. It was 126/86 - he decided that I needed to go get another NST at the hospital. We got the NST Thursday evening and he came by to offer a C-section the next day. He said that I was bascially uniducible - my cervix hadn't budged a centimeter at almost 42 weeks! Of course, he said that I could still wait to have the section on Monday if I wanted to. I was so relieved and happy to have the offer!!!
We checked in at 6:30 and had to wait for another planned C-section ahead of mine - that was the hardest part! Thankfully, I had bought a "search a word" puzzle book for the whole waiting process when I assumed that I would have a normal 12-13 hour labor.
Thankfully, I can say that it wasn't a bad experience at all. The hardest part was the waiting! One of the best things, apart from seeing a beautiful baby boy, of course, was being able to lay in the recovery room afterwards - for the first time in months, I was laying on my back and on not having any type of pain or discomfort! It was nice not feeling anything from about my diaphragm on down :o)
We came home this afternoon, Matthew has been fed and is currently sleeping. He is such a mystery! It's very humbling to have this responsibility, we do feel the weigt of it.
Anyway, overall, I feel good!! Thanks so much for the prayers and notes of encouragement - it really does mean so much!

Winter in the South

It's supposed to get up 68 today!! I'm not complaining, it's still a little weird.

Mark "gave birth"

We are very happy to report the birth of Mark's kidney stone yesterday evening!! What a relief. For those we have spoken to with histories of kidney stones, though, everyone is a bit tense "waiting for the next one" - Mark is no different.

I'm very proud of him - he's really doing a good job of drinking water. It's hard because he normally only drank one or two glasses a day at the most, and the rest of his fluids came in the way of Coke or Pepsi. Cola's are off limits now, Sprite and juice just isn't the same for him.

Baby's room

Thought I would share pictures of Matthew's room. Here's the deal on the crib/prison - we have two very active cats. I absolutely don't trust Mackey to stay away from the baby. I could vividly picture Mackey plopping down on Matthew's head and suffocating him. So, this was our solution. We ordered this tent through WalMart. Interestingly enough, there is a picture of a cat standing on top of the tent on the box.

His room is a hodge podge of furniture - in a perfect world, we would have all matching furniture but, alas, I'm thankful that we really didn't have to buy much. We really only had to buy the crib for the room.

We did splurge on the car seat/stroller. It's the Chicco Key Fit 30. It's ranked the highest in safety ratings and it's really easy to use - at some point you'll see a picture of it.

New perspectives

God's mercies are new every morning!! I'm so thankful for that.
It usually takes me a day to gain a broader perspective on disappointments or discouragements. I wish I could magically turn on and off those thoughts and feelings - but, we're not made that way.
As much as I think that I'm really working hard at keeping my thoughts and desires in check - the real test comes when those thoughts and desires are challenged. I'm thankful for a loving and patient God, and loving and patient family and friends!! I wish we could be closer to y'all!!

Baby update

I had my weekly checkup. Yet, again, nothing going on. My doctor wanted to do an ultrasound to make sure that he hadn't turned around for a breech presentation and do another nonstress test (NST) which is standard when you're overdue this far.

The US showed a head first presentation - we saw his heart, spine, and a leg. Thankfully, there is still enough amniotic fluid, too. He tried showing us everything but said that at this stage it's really difficult because there's just not much room.

He's estimating 8 pounds.

This afternoon we headed over to the hospital for my fourth NST. The L&D nurse that set me up on it is - from what others have said - the best L&D nurse around. It was nice to meet her. She also showed us what they were looking for on the NST and said that Baby was passing with flying colors. The other encouraging thing about having the NST was that it showed that I was having a few contractions - which I wasn't aware of. Nanette said that the contractions could help thin out my cervix.

The plan, therefore, at this point is for me to come back on Friday. If nothing is still going on, he'll admit me Sunday night and try to induce then. If that does nothing - which he wasn't too positive that it would - he would do a C-section on Monday. I can't say that I was devastated, but I was definitely disappointed.

I know that it's not that uncommon. I also know that statistically, the mortality rate goes up for babies after 41.5 weeks. I know that God is not bound by statistics. I know that his life will not be ruined by having a birthday the day before Christmas. I know that God is sovereign - and that's not really a comfort - sometimes, that's actually more frustrating for me. I know all of these things - I think I'm just tired.

I'm fine, really I am. I am thankful that we live in a relatively warm enivronment where I can walk outside comfortably. That's the plan for the week - walk, walk, walk.

Mark is home

Yea, Mark is home now. He still hasn't passed the stone, though - we'll see how that goes. Now he just has the caffiene withdraw headache and nausea and the been-laying-on-my-back-in-a-hospital-bed-for-three-days back ache.
Thanks so much for your prayers, as always, they are much appreciated.

A prayer request from us

I can understand why the Lord hasn't allowed us to have a baby to bring home yet......Mark is in the hospital with kidney stones! He called me from the office yesterday morning around 8, asking me to come pick him up.
We ended up going to the hospital (this is round 3 for his ER visits). This was the worst pain yet. I felt so bad for him!
To make a long story short - he was admitted for observation yesterday morning for pain control reasons. He finally was pain free by the evening but was struggling with nausea and vomiting.
I figured that if he could get through the night without any more pain - we'd be home this afternoon. It wasn't to be - Mark called while I was getting ready to come to the hospital to say that he started having pain again about 6:30am.....and it's continued off and on ever since.
He's an inpatient now, the hospitalist is going to try him on some different medication to see if that helps pass the stone.

With that said, I'm sure that you can guess our prayer requests = 1) that Mark would pass the stone and 2) that I would NOT go into labor - which I don't think is imminent, anway. We'd be very grateful for your petitions.
Just to let you know, I do have a friend "on call" if I would go into labor.

Still nothing going on in the baby department

My doctor did say that I would have him before Christmas - which I am expecting. Also saying that he's between 7.5-8 pounds now - that's quite enough. :o)

Attitude of gratitude

It's been a while since I've done this - figured that it was about time. I need to do this for my sake more than any other.

I'm thankful for a godly husband who is willing to let me have the bed all to myself when I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep. I'm thankful that we don't usually struggle with worrying about the same issues, either - we can help each other out - giving a better perspective.

I'm thankful that it's December - meaning - I WILL NOT be pregnant at Christmas :o)
I'm thankful that as uncomfortable as this pregnancy deal has been, it could have been much worse! My blood pressure has been fine, not a lot of swelling, Prilosec is my wonder drug, I still have food aversions - but no nausea anymore.

I'm thankful for a longsuffering God - Who is patient and merciful to me.

So many more things to be thankful for...........

Still waiting

Waiting for Matthew to decide to make his appearance - I ate jalopenos last night for dinner and had Mark rub my feet - no effect. Matthew still hasn't dropped.

Waiting for our computer to be done - should be able to pick it up today.

Absolutely nothing!

That's what my OB doc said when he checked on Monday to see if I was getting ready to go into labor.
He didn't have to say it like that!

Tagged!

Our computer crashed on Saturday - I'm sitting in Mark's office trying to catch up on e-mails and blogs :o)

These things are always hard for me to do. 5 unusual things?? I guess I don't feel like there is that much unusual about me. Maybe these are just things that you didn't know about me :o) - here it goes:

1. If we didn't truly believe that we would be destitute and living under a bridge, Mark and I would move to New York City in a heartbeat. We loved it. We stayed on the Upper West Side - close to Columbia University. It was great not having to worry about a car and all of the things that go along with it! I think that the food is fresher there than at our local grocery stores - there are markets on just aobut every corner. We could walk to any type of ethnic/diverse restaurant that we wanted - and I do admit it - the pizza is great!

2. Being pregnant - to me - is like dating. I don't particularly like it - but it's what you have to do in order to get the desired effect. (Not including adoption, of course - but we can't afford that). Don't get me wrong - it's not that I'm not thankful - I really am. Maybe it's because these situations just reveal my tendencies to worry/doubt/fear. I don't like "not knowing".

3. I'm not a kid person. Yes, that sounds just as horrible as #2. Let's just say that, given the choice, I would rather spend an afternoon at a nursing home than a daycare center.

4. This may truly be the unusual thing about me: I always have red toe nail polish on. You can take the polish off my toe nails right now and see my perpetually orange toe nails - because I'm too lazy to put a base coat on.

5. If it weren't so bad for me, I would eat dessert and skip dinner. I'm a sweets girl! Twice I have ordered dessert for my meal at a restaurant instead of dinner when out with friends. I haven't done it much, because I just felt a little silly. Why get the dinner at O'Charley's when you know you would rather have their carrot cake?!